Auto-Tune the News #1: march madness. economic woes. pentagon budget cuts.
Interviewers, sportscasters, and vice presidents alike break into song to report important news. The players include my homey Sarah Fullen Gregory (she married my brother). You can find her music here: http://www.myspace.com/sefullen http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sarah-Fullen/8570601474 Newt Gingrich (on nuclear disarmament) Robert Gates (on cutting the Pentagon budget) Jim Nantz (on March Madness) Joe Biden (on the economic situation) Wayne Ellington (on how it feels to win) Lyrics: MG: Mr. Gingrich, what do you think about Obama wanting to cut down on nuclear weapons? In the key of C. And...go! NG: Uh, I just think that it's very dangerous to have a fantasy foreign policy And it can get you in enormous trouble MG: What's wrong with fantasy? I like fantasy and I live in the sea RG: We must rebalance this department's programs In order to institutionalize and finance our capabilities SG: Yeah, forget about the jets; Use our super soakers, get al quaeda wet JN: Tar Heels: rolling on to Monday night Another convincing Carolina victory SG: Ooh, that's cool, but it ain't time to pop the hennessy JN: Michigan State: heading to the national championship game Your team responded late here, coach, how did you do it? MG: Three words: Vi ag ra. JB: There will continue to be job losses The remainder of this year The question is will they continually go down Before they begin to rebound Before they begin to rebound Will they go do-do-do-down Before they begin to rebound And now it's my pleasure to present the 2009 National Championship Trophy To Coach Roy williams and the North Carolina Tar Heels You can just tell the unity you had It's something very special And we saw it on the floor tonight SG: Oh yeah--- Michigan thought we was playing some football Lions' stadium; they played like the Lions Throwin interceptions in the first down Watchin us dunk on their ass Goin home cryin Congratulations Wayne I know you're emotional Talk about what this feels like WE: Feels great. You know, You never know what this feeling feels like Until you experience it. It's something that you really can't explain SG: Yeah, believe in your dreams MG: Yeah, you know you can never explain the unexplainable
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Auto-Tune the News #3: cuba. afghan friendship. 2-party woes.
mp3 available for download: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-3?pytr=gregorybrothers Zach McNees helped mix: http://www.zachmcnees.com/ Lyrics: EH: I think this is an ignoramus statement Umm, I was even a person who thought You know what, power to Joe the Plumber at that point SG: Before he went around laying his pipe all over town EH: Well, Joe the Plumber is not invited Anywhere around me EG: Does baby need a tissue? Thinking about the time the plumber kissed you Before you caught him creeping with the Shih Tzu RM: As republicans, the party does seem to be in chaos RP: They need to change their attitude, attitude Their attitude, attitude MG: Ay, tells us what your homeys can do To make a change RP: You know, they talk about personal freedoms They have to believe in it, you know MG/RM: We know! RP: To believe in it, you know MG/RM: We know! RP: To believe in it, you know MG/RM: We know, we know, we know you just got to believe RP: To believe in it, you know MG/RM: We know! RP: To believe in it, you know MG/RM: We know! RP: To belieeeeeeeeeve! Lieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve! MG: You saying Republicans on crack Are you cozy with the Democrats? RP: I just don't think that either party Right now offers a whole lot MG: You'll see some real change From the 3rd party at my house Poppin champagne, bacardi; gettin crunked out Triple rhymin with Joe Biden While we Imbibin Hennessy Come on over--drinks on me, homey HK: We'll be friends with you AZ: And bff with you Main Damies with you HK: And colleagues with you AZ: I'll be in your crew HK: I'll be in yours, too AZ: Jumpin rope with you HK: Playin Donkey Kong with you AZ: Hatchin plans with you HK/AZ: invade Tajikistan with you HC: We do not believe either Afghanistan or Pakistan Can achieve lasting progress Without the full participation of all of your citizens Including women and girls AZ: Having a barbecue HK: Grilling a goat with you AZ: Grilling terrorists, too HK: Getting matching tattoos HC: The rights of women must be respected and protect-- AZ: --Picking flowers with you HK: Hot showers with you AZ: Falling in love with you HK: Nude at the zoo AZ/HK: Making memories at the pottery wheel, rubbing clay on you all afternoon KC: It would be one of the most dramatic Foreign policy about faces ever AG: To what do you refer, shawtayee? KC: A bipartisan bill in Congress would end The 47-year-old trade freeze with Cuba AG: Ojalá congreso le gusta esta KC: It has only spotty support so far But President Obama's already taken some baby steps Letting Cuban Americans visit family members And send them money But for most of us it's still a place that is Strictly off limits AG: Not for this G I just went there illegally Speaking of which, will you buy drugs from me On national TV? Don't fret--the people think I'm joking But guess what (what?)? I've never joked in my life; ooh-wee, shawtayee KC: The trade embargo made sense a half century ago AG: That's 50 years KC: During the Cold War Fidel Castro took sides with the enemy But the Soviet Union is long gone AG: Disbanded: KC/AG: Long gooooone! SG: Dick Cheney. Rush Limbaugh or Colin Powell. Who's your damie? DC: Well, if I had to choose, uh In terms of being a Republican I'd go with Rush Limbaugh My take on it was Colin had already left the party SG: I don't think that actually happened [awkward silence] This is an awkward silence; I guess I'll fill it with ad libs Oh! Shawty! Yeah EG: Whoo! Aaaah KC: Now it's up to Fidel and Raúl Castro AG: Esos Castros locos. Cuidado KC: President Obama says he wants to see Democratic reforms Particularly on human rights and free speech So congress will be looking for signs of change After almost 50 years AG: Ay, that's half a century KC: U.S. policy will not reverse overnight Relations remain chilly But for the 1st time in generations A thaw is possible AG: A thaw, but what sort of thaw? What exactly is thawing? KC: Very, very, very, very Very thin ice AG/KC: Very thin ice, very thin ice, very thin ice Follow us on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews or facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Gregory-Brothers/46060559283
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Auto-Tune the News #4: spa regulation. serbians. sotomayor.
Urgent issues call for equally urgent harmonies, and they are provided by politicians, pundits, and gorillas alike in this chapter of news opera. mp3 available-- http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-4/ Lyrics: EG: Ay, nah nah, hey hey, nah nah ay oh MG: I agree EG: Where all the shawties on the court? JS: It's ridiculous, one woman on the Supreme Court, uh, doesn't seem right to me. EG: Ain't nobody have a breakfast with all sausage and no eggs. MG: We need a shawty with a hot body and sexy legs. EG: When the court convenes it's an ancient sausage festival. MG: Only two ovaries, sixteen testicles.. BB: There are so many qualified women out there. MG: Qualified to get low in they apple-bottomed robe. MB: I completely agree with you. EG: And I complete agree, too. MG: How does Ginsburg stand being the only woman who ain't a man? BB: Judge Ginsburg said, she's really very lonely without another woman. MG, EG, BB: Without another woman, lonely without another woman! EG: I know what it's like with a woman gone, cryin in the nude with the curtains drawn. MB: Breaking news! EG, MG: Oh snap! News is broken! Breaking news, in ya face! MB: Obama has picked Sonia Sotomayor. EG, MG: She's a shawty, She's a Boricua! EG: Jurisprudent! JS: With soft thighs! MG: And other soft features, that Ginsburg can appreciate, stayin up late, makin sure to thank heaven above. EG: because she ain't All: lonely without another woman, lonely without another woman! EG: Listen up, y'all, Joe Biden's got a shout out! This one goes out to all the serbians And also the ladies But mostly the Serbians JB: And until the Serbian people Look themselves in the face Understand what their leaders have done And convinced them of Until that moment arrives Serbian people will not Be able to shed this notion of victimization That all of their leaders prey upon And manipulate them with Until that moment arrives Until the Serbian people look themselves in the face Until that moment arrives Until that moment arriiiiiiiiives KC: April showers bring May flowers But what do May flowers bring? AG: Romance for a shawty KC: Possibly lead poisoning AG: ::Barf:: KC: Lead poisoning AG: ::Barf, barf:: I'm gettin sick like ::Barf, barf, barf, barf, barf:: KC: Before you dig in and start to enjoy all the Fruits and vegetables of your labor AG: Shawty KC: You'd better get your soil tested first AG: Oh KC: Your soil tested first AG: Oh, I live in the ghetto So I'll expect the worst KC: Paint chippings and old pesticides May be buried insiiiiide AG: Me, oh my KC: Raising the level of lead in the soil The tests are inexpensive And some local health departments Do them for freeeeeeee AG: Even for a talking head thug like me? KC: Once you're in the clear Mary, Mary quite contrary Plant away AG: Okay And when asked how does your garden grow Tell them it's healthy, green and lead-free AG: I'll say it's healthy, green and lead-free, shawty KC: Healtheeeeeee AG: Healtheeeeeee, believe me I ain't tryna munch on a poison zucchini NG: This bill actually has the secretary of energy Regulating jacuzzis Now, the ideastrikes me As close to being nuts AG: I agree--I'm an angry gorilla and that makes me angry JI: The only jacuzzis this will regulate Will have to produce 2,500 mega watts of energy AG: You made me angry with lies Hurt my angry gorilla pride; I'm angry NG: On page 233, uh Line 5: portable electric spas All: Portable electric spas! MG: No spa is above the law! NG: Now, I don't know what a portable electric spa is I was told it was a jacuzzi But that's in this bill AG: So it's true! I'm no longer angry at you My original anger's renewed JI: We will give you a hot spa That is energy efficient I hope that doesn't offend you AG: He might have a point My anger's makin a switch Cuz you're being a little b*$& But maybe not Maybe you're just defending freedom and justice for jacuzzis ohhhhhh What's this? a single tear that is wet that i shed When an angry gorilla cries Who's gonna be there to dry his eyes? And when an angry gorilla's depressed Who's gonna heal him with a soft caress? Ooh ooh ah ah, the tears are rolling down my cheeks Ooh ooh ah ah, liquid sorrow that my eyes excrete And I'm a soulja, but a soulja's got feelings, Don't know whom to lend my anger to, And that's why I'm crestfallen and confused Shawty
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