Katie Couric Boyfriend? Auto-Tune the News # 4
The Gregory Brothers tackle Sotomayor, poison flowers, Joe Biden, and Jacuzzis. mp3 available-- http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-4/ Their channel here: http://www.youtube.com/schmoyoho Lyrics: EG: where all the shawties on the court? JS: It's ridiculous, one woman on the Supreme Court, uh, doesn't seem right to me. EG: Ain't nobody have a breakfast with all sausage and no eggs. MG: We need a shawty with a hot body and sexy legs. EG: When the court convenes it's an ancient sausage festival. MG: Only two ovaries, sixteen testicles.. BB: There are so many qualified women out there. MG: Qualified to get low in they apple-bottomed robe. MB: I completely agree with you. EG: And I complete agree, too. MG: How does Ginsburg stand being the only woman who ain't a man? BB: Judge Ginsburg said, she's really very lonely without another woman. MG, EG, BB: Without another woman, lonely without another woman! EG: I know what it's like with a woman gone, cryin in the nude with the curtains drawn. MB: Breaking news! EG, MG: Oh snap! News is broken! Breaking news, in ya face! MB: Obama has picked Sonia Sotomayor. EG, MG: She's a shawty, She's a Boricua! EG: Jurisprudent! JS: With soft thighs! MG: And other soft features, that Ginsburg can appreciate, stayin up late, makin sure to thank heaven above. EG: because she ain't All: lonely without another woman, lonely without another woman! EG: Listen up, y'all, Joe Biden's got a shout out! This one goes out to all the serbians And also the ladies But mostly the Serbians JB: And until the Serbian people Look themselves in the face Understand what their leaders have done And convinced them of Until that moment arrives Serbian people will not Be able to shed this notion of victimization That all of their leaders prey upon And manipulate them with Until that moment arrives Until the Serbian people look themselves in the face Until that moment arrives Until that moment arriiiiiiiiives KC: April showers bring May flowers But what do May flowers bring? AG: Romance for a shawty KC: Possibly lead poisoning AG: ::Barf:: KC: Lead poisoning AG: ::Barf, barf:: I'm gettin sick like ::Barf, barf, barf, barf, barf:: KC: Before you dig in and start to enjoy all the Fruits and vegetables of your labor AG: Shawty KC: You'd better get your soil tested first AG: Oh KC: Your soil tested first AG: Oh, I live in the ghetto So I'll expect the worst KC: Paint chippings and old pesticides May be buried insiiiiide AG: Me, oh my KC: Raising the level of lead in the soil The tests are inexpensive And some local health departments Do them for freeeeeeee AG: Even for a talking head thug like me? KC: Once you're in the clear Mary, Mary quite contrary Plant away AG: Okay And when asked how does your garden grow Tell them it's healthy, green and lead-free AG: I'll say it's healthy, green and lead-free, shawty KC: Healtheeeeeee AG: Healtheeeeeee, believe me I ain't tryna munch on a poison zucchini NG: This bill actually has the secretary of energy Regulating jacuzzis Now, the ideastrikes me As close to being nuts AG: I agree--I'm an angry gorilla and that makes me angry JI: The only jacuzzis this will regulate Will have to produce 2,500 mega watts of energy AG: You made me angry with lies Hurt my angry gorilla pride; I'm angry NG: On page 233, uh Line 5: portable electric spas All: Portable electric spas! MG: No spa is above the law! NG: Now, I don't know what a portable electric spa is I was told it was a jacuzzi But that's in this bill AG: So it's true! I'm no longer angry at you My original anger's renewed JI: We will give you a hot spa That is energy efficient I hope that doesn't offend you AG: He might have a point My anger's makin a switch Cuz you're being a little b*$& But maybe not Maybe you're just defending freedom and justice for jacuzzis ohhhhhh What's this? a single tear that is wet that i shed When an angry gorilla cries Who's gonna be there to dry his eyes? And when an angry gorilla's depressed Who's gonna heal him with a soft caress? Ooh ooh ah ah, the tears are rolling down my cheeks Ooh ooh ah ah, liquid sorrow that my eyes excrete And I'm a soulja, but a soulja's got feelings, Don't know whom to lend my anger to, And that's why I'm crestfallen and confused
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Auto-Tune the News #6: Michael Jackson. drugs. Palin.
attn 6 mp3 available: http://amiestreet.com/music/the-gregory-brothers/auto-tune-the-news-number-6/?pytr=gregorybrothers ATTN shirts now available: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News disclaimer: DON'T TAKE PILLS WITH GIN! (OR ELSE YOU WILL WAKE UP DEAD!!) the beat is a lightly remixed version of 100th Sight by Kapluckus (a Gregory Residence band consisting of Constance Waddell, Michael Gregory, Jamie Forrest, Stuart Harrison and Jacob Crigler)--find the original song here: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=287197640&s=143441 Lyrics: NG: Hey-ohhhh! Congress! Climate change bill! Let's get our debate on--1,2,3 MB: It is time to stand up and say We get to choose We get to choose It's one of the two liberty or tyranny EG: can we please choose something in between? mediocrity? MG: chastity? HW: puppetry? OB: obesity? JE: marijuanity? pretty please?! MB: The underlying bill represents the tyranny of the government It's our choice, what will we choose today? Will we choose liberty, or will we choose tyranny? MG: it all depends--who gets to be the tyrant? SG: I thought this bill was about the climate NP: Just remember these 4 words For what this legislation means Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs Let's vote for jobs CC: and jobs NP: and jobs CC: don't forget about jobs Speaker: Those in favor say "aye". CC: AAAAYYE! Speaker: Those opposed, "no". JB: Hell no! Hell no! Hell noooooooo!! The fight that we have between the 2 sides of the aisle boils down to one word: JB: freedom CC: freedom! JB: freedom CC: freedom! JB: freedom that will allow the American people to live their lives hell no! Nano Man: hell no! JB: hell no! Nano Man: hell no! JB: hell noooooooo! Nano Man: hell no! Let's allow America to flourish to allow jobs to flourish, and allow freedom to flourish! hell noooooooo! --------------------- SP: I'm not wired to operate under the same old politics as usual. With this announcement that I'm not seeking re-election, I've determined that it's best to transfer the authority of governor to Lieutenant Governor Parnell. RS: Hey, could she be pregnant? EG: Pregnant with ideas bout how to run for president! CW: Interesting and perhaps successful strategy to win her the presidency. MG: To win you gotta quit! EG: To quit you gotta win! MG: the chips are on the table - WK: She's really all in. But it's high risk. JL: The people who like her Are still gonna like her The people who have doubts about her Are just gonna have the same doubts EG: No doubt JL: Same doubts MG: SHAWTAYEE All: Same doubts! ---------------------- Couric: What do you do if you have Tylenol and other medications with acetaminophen? JE: I take a fistful of pills and get busy mixin em in my gin What about Vicodin and Percocet? Will they be banned ultimately? JE: Not if I can help it! You know it's unconstitutional To take away my God-given pharmaceuticals ----------------------- BO: I have warned that one day Michael Jackson would wake up dead Wake up, wake up dead Meredith, I had warned everyone-- SG: --He told you so BO: --one day we're going to have this experience I feared this day And here we are Keith, people often die for very strange reasons They wake up dead Wake up, wake up dead EG: wakin up MG: wakin up BO: wakin up KC: wakin up EG: wakin up is a strange reason to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie .......whoo! --------------------------------------------------- find us on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers and/or on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
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Auto-Tune the News #7: texting. rhyming. pat buchanan fail.
mp3: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-7/?pytr=gregorybrothers ATTN shirts available: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News thanks to our friend Aaron for his arresting appearance in this episode! http://www.myspace.com/asteele also, thanks to Tchaikovsky for providing such a fiery hook (from Swan Lake): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyotr_Ilyich_Tchaikovsky lyrics: JE: Let's get it right. ABS: Let's get it right. JE: Shawty on the mic. AH: The fact is that right now if you are black or hispanic, you have a much greater chance of being arrested. JE: Are you sayin we got thugs in the fuzz? AH: Particularly when it comes to the war on drugs. JE/ABS: Real talk, we got caught together smokin lettuce leaves. JE: Lettuce leaves. ABS: They put me in the slammer. JE: They gave me a college degree! ABS: WTF? JE: In biology. ABS: He don't know a tiger from a giraffe. DB: It is painful, it is shameful. ABS: Disdainful! I'm on parole. JE: I'm keepin my glass of champagne full top of the world. ABS: Brick on my ankle. DB: If you are stopped by the police Putcha head down and just wait. ALL: Wait! DB: Wait. ALL: Wait! DB: Wait. ALL: Wait! DB: Don't say nothin. ABS: Shh. DB: Wait. ALL: Wait! DB: Wait. ALL: Wait! DB: Putcha head down ALL: Do the dance now! DB: Putcha head down and just wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! ALL: Putcha head down, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! AH: This is happening all the time It's really stunning ------------------------- PB: This has been a country built by white folks. 100% of the people who wrote the Constitution, 100% of the people who signed the Declaration of Independence, White folks, Whi--i--i--ite folks! I look at the track team, and they're all black folks. I think maybe those are the fastest guys we got. Fastest guys in the country, Fastest in the wooooorld. Black folks, Bla---a--a--ack folks! SG: WTF? I think I'm having an stroke, Suffering a white guy overload. Doctor, doctor, can a shawty get a shot to the frontal lobe. OH. AS: It's not always just black and white, black and white. We're fighting right now for a young white male Who we felt the police abused by sticking something in his rectum. EG: Why they gotta disrespect him? SG: Can we please move on now, Reverend? AS: Sticking something in his rectum. ------------------- DL: Trouble, we got trouble right here in Capitol City. With a capitol T, and it rhymes with B, that stands for broke! CC: We broke! DL: Right here in Capitol City, right here, we gotta figure out a way to help the Americans who are about to choke! CC: No joke! DL: Oh yes we've got trouble. Trouble, trouble. CC: Triple trouble. DL: Trouble, trouble. CC: Big time trouble. DL: T! Rhymes with - CC: P! DL: Rhymes with - CC: C! DL: Rhymes with - CC: G! AG: I'm angry!! DL: Rhymes with D. And it stands for Democrat. CC: Oooh. ------------------- KC: Texting while driving is dangerous, dangerous. EG/SG: Treacherous! MG: Perilous! KC: People who were text messaging were 20 times more likely to have an accident than those who were talking on phones instead of typing. Just say no. EG: But I'm a sucker for peer pressure. My thumbs can't stop! KC: Get a designated texter. MG: [sexy breathing] Ow! KC: People on the road can turn an LOL into a great big OMG. ALL: People on the road can turn an LOL into a great big OMG. People on the road can turn an LOL into a great big OMG. ---------------------------------------- ----------- find us on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers and/or on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
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Auto-Tune the News #8: dragons. geese. Michael Vick. (ft. T-Pain)
mp3: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-8?pytr=gregorybrothers iphone auto-tune app: http://iamtpain.smule.com/ We were honored to be joined in our newsmangling by Chairman Pain of the Federal Commission of T-Pain. Find him here: http://www.youtube.com/user/TPainVideos http://twitter.com/DaRealerstTPAIN http://www.facebook.com/t-pain links to us: t-shirts: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News donate: http://www.thegregorybrothers.com twitter: http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers Lyrics: JB: Imagine with me for a moment. Imagine an America. Imagine a world Where people pop the hood of their cars And they see stamped on an electronic motor the words: "Made in America." All: Made in America! Made in America! JB: Imagine, imagine... All: Made in America! Made in America! JB: That's what I want to imagine! All: God bless y'all. MV: Now I wanna be part of the solution and not the problem. I gotta start somewhere, gotta crawl before I walk. All: Ay! Crawl before I walk, ay! Crawl before I walk! EG & SG: Before he flies like an Eagle. EG: woo! SVP: Michael Vick served his time, he paid his debt to society and now, he has either earned or been given another chance. SVP,EG,SG: Another chaaaance! MR: Katie Couric is off today. AG: But I'm still lookin at a fine shawtay-ay-ay. MR: I'm Maggie Rodriguez. AG: Nice to meet you, boo. Let's talk about the noo-ews. MR: The city of New York is declaring a war on geese And some animal activists are crying AG: Crying? MR: Crying AG: Crying? MR: Crying foul. AG: Crying how? MR: Crying fowl. AG: oh MR: Birds can become a feathered foe if they collide with airplanes AG: True. MR: Operation Goose-Be-Gone involves reducing the population within five miles of the airport Both: Those geese are cooked. Those geese are cooked, cooked, cooked. MR: Wildlife experts and the FAA agree Both: Those geese are cooked. AG: The Federal Commission of Me agrees Both: Those geese are cooked. AG: Now they livin on a wing and a prayer Both: A wing and a prayer AG: How many geese? MR: Two thousand geese. AG: That's a lot of geese. MR: Those geese are f---ed. AG: So sad and so tasty for my helpless flyin homies. MR: The debate continues in New York, but for now Both: Those geese are cooked, cooked. CG: As you can see from the chart, A massive fire-breathing Debt and Deficit Dragon CG: I have a chart. CC: He has a chart! CG: I have a chart. CC: A dragon chart! CG: The surtax is painful to the goose, Lethal to the goose CC: Which goose? CG: The goose that lays the golden egg CC: My favorite goose CG: The goose that lays, the goose that lays, lays the golden egg. CC: That goose is cooked, cooked, cooked! JE: Am I wasted or did that really transpire? So many metaphors my brain is on fire. *phone* Ay! TPain: Ay! JE: Ay! TPain: Ay! JE: Aaaay! TPain: Tell Katie-Coo, stop screenin my calls. Or else, she gon be on Very thin ice JE: Very thin ice KC: Very thin ice All: Very thin ice JE: Sing it T-Pain, geese are on All: Very thin ice MR: Those geese are cooked, those geese are cooked, cooked. SVP: Give 'em another chance. CG: The goose that lays the golden egg! MR: Those geese are f----ed. Those geese are All: Made in America, made in America SVP: Michael Vick served his time JE: But he's on very thin ice All: Very thin ice. Very very very thin ice. CG: I have a chart. MG: I have a mullet. CG: I have a chart. MG: I'm offerin you a piece of bread. How could you possibly refuse a man with a mullet. piece of BREEAAD!
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Race Debate! Auto-Tune the News #7
"uh . . . is this the news, or a bedtime story?"
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Auto-Tune the News #9: Nobel. health care. United Nations.
presidents and prime ministers sing in harmony. Love and happiness abounds. Get the mp3: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-9?pytr=gregorybrothers Donations: http://www.thegregorybrothers.com Lyrics: HC: Tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun Seamos un tilÃn mejores Y un poco menos egoÃstas Tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun Huele a esperanza FR: In this common endeavor Huele a esperanza GB: All of us work together HC: Tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun BO: We must embrace a new era of engagement Because the time has come UN Choir: To smell the hope! GB: For growth to be sustained It has to be shared UN Choir: ohhh, We can smell the hope! BO: The time has come UN Choir: To smell a better world!! FR: A better world to live in for future generations everywhere. AG: Don't get sick That's right, don't get sick If you have insurance, don't get sick If you don't have insurance, don't get sick If you're sick, don't get sick Just don't get sick That's the Republicans' health care plan CC: He has a chart AG: An angry chart CC: A chart that helps us learn! AG: ooh ooh ah ah If you get sick in America, die quickly That's right--the Republicans want you to die quickly if you get sick AG: I agree! CC: He agrees! AG: Angrily! CC: Cuz he's angry! KO: Afford to live? Are we at that point? Are we so heartless? How can we not be united against death? Us: My BFF Gilgamesh knows eternal life's an impossible quest The resources exist for your father and mine to get the same treatment Us: Yeah, we're in agreement But first we gotta lay down some All: High speed rail Us: Bail out some All: Banks Us: Save your daddy with the leftover change KO: How can we be so heartless? Us: We're nihilists! KO: How can we be so heeeeaaartless? Us: We're tryna die quick! KO: What more obvious role could government have Than the defense of the life of each citizen? KC: How is the Nobel Peace Prize decided? BS: Well, uh, that is what people were asking all day today Bølverk: We mix a secret potion, And roll the ancient dice, Then hire a focus group And have a human sacrifice. KC: A lot of people are asking today why do you think the committee elected President Obama? Bølverk: I believe a prize for peace should go to the biggest wuss. BS: They were giving Obama a prize for not being George Bush. Choir: They can smell the hope!! KC: Take a deep breath! Choir: And hope a smelly world! KC: A deep breath! FR: A better world to live in for future generations everywhere
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Sarah Palin Quits! Auto-Tune the News #6
mp3 available: http://amiestreet.com/music/the-gregory-brothers/auto-tune-the-news-number-6/?pytr=gregorybrothers ATTN shirts also available: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News The Gregory Brothers bring the world another installment of the news with a beat. Among the topics this week: Jackson, Palin, and Bachman, oh my! See Michael Gregory's other videos at: http://www.youtube.com/schmoyoho
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Smoking Lettuce: Auto Tune the News #5
Gregory Brothers return with another stellar jam, this time tackling among other things lettuce and smoke mp3: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-5?pytr=gregorybrothers Lyrics: Lyrics: ML: Any world order That elevates one nation over another Will fall flat SG: Ah, snap ML: I think that goes against the idea of American exceptionalism SG: Exceptional fast food and exceptional dance moves. ML: Most Americans believe that this country was gifted by God, a blessed nation, and that we are better. SG: Yeah, we the promised land, a sacred place, gettin blessed by Joe Biden in space! JB: God bless America! All: Ay! JB: Gah-awd bless America! All: Ay!! JB: God bless, God God bless God bless America!! All: Ay-men!!! SB: Do you realize if you were to take that lettuce, dry it, and roll it, and smoke it... MG: I know, it tastes like goat shit. SB: You smoke your lettuce. MG: Believe me, I've tried. SB: You're gonna end up with similar problems than if you were smoking tobacco. MG: I know, fo sho, you should try it with tomato - burnin salad in my throat! RM: Steve Buyer, warning complacent Americans about the risks of smoking lettuce. MG: You can warn me all you want, but you'll never stop my leafy green fetish. SB: It's not the nicotine that kills! It's the smoooooke! The smooooooke. Cancer: it's the smoke. Heart disease: it's the smoke. Respiratory disease: it's the smoooooooke! It's the, it's the inhalation, it's the smooooke, the smooooooke. If they wanna obtain their nicotine, it's okay. It's the smooooooke, the smooooooooooooke! SG: The more produce we come across, the more problems we see. KC: Some companies say they've received hundreds of applications for just a single opening. One man sent a shoooooe to his prospective employer EG: Shawtayee, don't you know That Air Jordan was from meeee? KC: I wore a long, white eyelet dress and a floppy white hat And carried a walking stick EG: Oo-wee! Am I crazy, am I trippin on shrooms Or you singin bout pimpin on the late night news? Katie Coo, baby boo, you got swagga like a star Don't stop, real talk, we gon take it to the charts! You can be KC: Lady Gaga EG: I can be KC: T-Pain EG: We can be KC: Bringing on the boogie EG: Droppin rhymes like rain You can be KC: Lady Gaga EG: I can be KC: T-Pain Both: Bringing on the boogie EG: With floppy hats and pimp canes LC: We've got some breaking news Let's go to Tracy Burns--she's got all the news TB: Actually, Liz, I think you wanna jump up to Robert Robert: Tracy, baby, you crazy I don't know what the hell's goin on Or where the camera belongs Let's go to Nicole NP: Me? Robert: Yeah, you NP: Me? Robert: Baby boo NP: Me? Robert: Whooo-ooooooooh NP: Me? Robert: Nicole don't know; let's throw it to Joe Joe: Uh, you know, I'm, uh, tryna get a hold of this myself Breaking news guys, um I, I don't have it, Liz, I have to send it back down to you I'm afraid LC: Okay, that's okay But the basics of it is Clearly this is a fascinating story The Gregorys' channel: http://www.youtube.com/schmoyoho
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