YouVideo your free video online video clips and video downloads on youvideo.eu

http://www.FreeiPad.enhancemylife.net -- Click to get a FREE Apple iPad Now! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Achmed sings a christmas song, enjoy! Text: Dashing through the sand with a bomb strapped to my back. I have a nasty plan for Christmas in Iraq. I got through checkpoint A, but not through checkpoint B. That's when I got shot in the ass by the US Military... [it's not funny!] Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs Mine blew up you see. Where are all the virgins that Bin Laden promised me? Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs U.S. soldiers shot me dead. The only thing that I have left is this towel up on my head. I used to be a man, but every time I cough, thanks to Uncle Sam, my nuts keep falling off. My bombing days are done. I need to find some work. Perhaps it would be much safer as a convenient store night clerk. Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs I think I got screwed. Don't laugh at me because I'm dead or I'll kill you... I KILL YOUOUOU! Thanks for the text, DJKrazim :) PLEASE SUPPORT JEFF DUNHAM BY BUYING HIS DVDS! Goto www.jeffdunham.com for more information! #12 - Most Discussed (All Time) #1 - Most Discussed (All Time) - Humor #5 - Most Viewed (All Time) #44 - Most Viewed (All Time) - Humor - Wereldwijd #2 - Most Viewed (All Time) - Humor #1 - Top Favorites (All Time) #18 - Top Favorites (All Time) - Humor - Wereldwijd #1 - Top Favorites (All Time) - Humor #3 - Top Rated (All Time) #36 - Top Rated (All Time) - Humor - Wereldwijd #1 - Top Rated (All Time) - Humor

Added by: blogpost_biz

Time: 01:00
Views: 751 | Comments: 0

Achmed, the dead terrorist (Jeff Dunham)

Achmed, the dead terrorist... (Jeff Dunham, ventriloquist & stand-up comedian, "Spark of Insanity", 2007) Good evening, Achmed!~Good evening... Infidel!~So you 're a terrorist?~Yes, I am a terrorist...~What kind of terrorist?~A terrifying... terrorist!~Are you scared?~Not really, no.~Aaargh! And now?~Not really, no.~HuHaaah! How 'bout now?~No.~God damn it! Oh.. I mean "Allah" damn it! Silence! I kill you!~So Akhmed...~No, no, it's Achmed~That's what I said!~No you said Akmed, it's Achmed! "gh", "gh", "gh"... Silence! I kill you!~How do you spell it?~What?~How do you spell your name?~Oh, let's see... A... C... Phlemgh... Silence! I kill you!~So Achmed, if you're a terrorist, I would suppose you have some sort of specialty?~Yes, I am a suicide bomber.~So you' re finished?~What?~You 've done your job.~No, I haven't!~But you 're dead!~No, I'm not! I feel fine!~But you 're all bone!~It's a flesh wound!~Silence! I kill you! What the hell happened to my feet? Son of a bitch! What the hell? What are you doing? Stop touching me! I kill you!~Allright, just hold on, we'll fix this!~Ok, wait! What are you doing? Holy crap I'm in the air! Wait, something is backwards... holy crap! I need some ligaments!~Just sit still!~Ok, I will not move my ass!~You idiot, you don't have an ass!~Is that Walter?~Yeah...~He scares the crap out of me! Please, do not put me back in the same suitcase!~Why?~He has gas!~Saddam's mustard gas was nothing compared to a Walter fart!~It's not funny! He will kill us!~Allright, listen Achmed, I have something to tell you...~What?~You really are dead!~Are you sure?~Yes.~I've just got my flu shot.~You really are dead!~Wait, if I'm dead, that means I get my 72 virgins?~Are you my virgins?! I hope not!~Why?~There's a bunch of ugly ass guys out there!~If this is paradise, I've been screwed!~Well did they say it will be only female virgins?~Holy crap! Wait, I could have Clay Aiken! I told a joke!~So, listen Achmed, where do you come from?~Your freakin' suitcase!~I told another one!~Look, if you've been in my suitcase all this time, how have we been getting through security at the airports?~Oh, that's easy... They open the case and I go "Hellooo! I am Lindsay Lohan!"~I told another joke! I can do this crap too! Ok, here's another one: Two Jews walkin' in a bar...~No, no!~What, you don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard!~What I mean is I don't want racist jokes in my act.~Oh, ok, how 'bout if I kill the Jews?~No!~I'm kidding, I would not kill the Jews, no, I would toss a penny betwenn them and watch them fight to the death! Yes, I did the same thing with two catholic priests but I tossed in a small boy! Yes, and the winner had to fight Michael Jackson!~Achmed!~What?~Stop doing this! You can't tell jokes like that!~Why not? I'm killing so to speak...~You can't tell jokes like that!~Why?~It offends people.~Oh, I'm dead what do I care? What do you want me to do "knock-knock" jokes?~Probably better...~Ok, knock-knock.~Who's there?~Me, I kill you!~So, look as a suicide bomber have you had training?~Of course, we had this suicide bomber training camp.~Ah, is that a nice facility?~It used to be...~What happened?~New guy! The idiot tried to practise!~What did you guys learn from that?~Location, location, location~So, you guys have any kind of motto?~Like what?~You know, like "we're looking for a few good men"~"We're looking for some idiots with no future"!~So, where do you get your recruits?~The suicide hotline! That was dark, was it not?~Yeah, so what exactly happened to you?~Eh?~What happened?~Oh, if you must know, I am a horrible suicide bomber...~What happened?~I had a premature detonation...~I set the timer for 30 minutes, but it went off in 4 seconds! You know what that's like, right?! Mr hurricane!~So, Achmed what exactly happened to you?~Well, I was getting gasoline and I answered my cell phone... "Can you hear me now?" Kghghgh! At first I thought it was because I went over my minutes!~That's too bad!~It's ok, I took that Verizon bastard with me!~So, what's it like to die? Do you see a white light?~If you done enough to watch the explosion, yes!~No, I mean some people say when they die they see a white light, what did you see?~I saw flying car parts!~What was the last thing that went through your mind?~My ass! Walter told me to tell that joke!~You did all these for a bunch of virgins?~Are you kidding me? I'd kill you for a Klondike bar!~So, I guess you're Muslim?~I don't think so!~You're not Muslim?~Nooo!~Why?~Look on my ass, it says "Made in China"! Walter says I'm just a stinking Halloween decoration!~So do you like being in D.C.?~I think some idiots must live here.~Why?~For example, the Washington Monument...~Yes?~It looks nothing like the guy! It looks more like a tribute to Bill Clinton!~What do you think of Bush?~Oh, I love Bu... Oh, you mean the president? I'm sorry!~And that's Achmed, the dead terrorist!

Added by: blogpost_biz

Time: 01:00
Views: 751 | Comments: 0

Rino Nakasone Razalan ( from new Pussycat Dolls ) - Siren Assassins - Queen Jade at Avalon 03/10/10

Rhaposdy James debuted her AMAZING dance show "SIREN ASSASSINS" in LA on March 10th, 2010. It was a SOLD OUT show. Here's a taste of the show. ENJOY!! Rino killed it and got a standing ovation with her performance as Queen Jade! From youtube user ArnelCalvario: "RINO (from our Beat Freaksï»¿ family) did such an amazing job!!! Her versatility as a performer is always so inspiring! LOVE YA HOMIE!!! Big props also to other friends in this piece JP San Pedro, Lyle Beniga, Joesar Alva (from Boogie Bots), and Cara Horibe (from our Fanny Pak family). DaSh Appeal for making Rino's Kimono. This piece from SIREN ASSASINS got a standing ovation and the most buzz after the show and deservingly so! " copyright Â© 2010 GroupBee

Added by: blogpost_biz

Time: 01:00
Views: 751 | Comments: 0

Move Shake Drop (remix) - DJ Laz ft. Flo Rida & Pitbull-Choreographed by Brooklyn Jai

FINALLY A NEW DANCE VIDEO!!!!!!!!!! I know everyone has been asking for some new videos, and i finally have one! It's super FULL OUTTTT!!!!!! Hope you enjoy it. =) song::Move Shake Drop by Pitbull choreo::Brooklyn Jai myspace.com/alanahylandmusic twitter.com/alana_werrrkkks

Added by: blogpost_biz

Time: 01:00
Views: 751 | Comments: 0

Starlight Jackass Episode 5

More information: http://www.starlightjackass.tk THX for watching!!! - Rate - Comment - Subscribe - Visite website!!!

Added by: blogpost_biz

Time: 01:00
Views: 751 | Comments: 0

Azad ft. Adel Tawil - Ich Glaub An Dich (+lyrics)

Mit lyrics! : [Azad:] Ich bin fu"r dich da und wenn hart folgt auf hart. Ich werd tun was ich tun kann bis ins Grab Durch die Ho"lle und wieder zuru"ck Gemeinsam ans Ziel auch wenn uns niemand hilft Gib nicht auf Bruder, ich bin da wenn du mich brauchst Denk an mich und I'm Dunkeln geht ein Licht auf Werd dir Flu"gel verleihen wenn du an mich glaubst Alles aus, doch mein kleiner Schimmer blitzt auf Flieg mit mir, was du braucht lieg in dir Du darfst nur dein Glauben an dich nie verlieren Kopf hoch eines Tages Bruder alles wird gut Ich bin der, der dich wieder aufbaut, Falls Du mich rufst Geb ich Kraft und erleichtere dir deine Last Was du nicht alleine schaffst, schaffen Wir zusammen Bleib tapfer, sprich ein Gebet Halt durch. Verliere mich nicht und Du wirst sehen [Adel Tawil (Azad):] Ich hol dich da raus Ich glaub an Dich sowie Du an mich glaubst (Komm!) Ich hol dich da raus Du kannst immer auf mich za"hlen Halte noch aus Ich weis die Zeit hier scheint still zu stehen Doch schon bald werden wir in Richtung Freiheit gehen (Du wirst sehen) Ich hol dich da raus Ich glaub an Dich sowie Du an mich glaubst Ich hol dich da raus Du kannst immer auf mich za"hlen Halte noch aus Ich weis die Zeit hier scheint still zu stehen Doch schon bald werden wir in Richtung Freiheit gehen Lyrics By Hiwar12345 [Azad:] Was auch kommt, glaub mir, was auch kommt Ich werd deine Stutze sein, wenn Last aufkommt Trag dich weiter, wenn Du nicht mehr kannst Fu"hr dich ans Licht, geb dir Mut wenn alles schmerzt Und fur dich zerbricht Ich bin da in dunklen Tagen Und Dir Trost zu schenken bin der Ansporn Um dich aus der Schlucht hoch zu Ka"mpfen Ich bin mit dir wenn Du nicht versagst Und nicht aufgibst Ich bin da bis dein Traum aufgeht Halt dich an mir fest ganz egal Wo du bist Ka"mpf Bruder ist das leben es gibt nichts geschenkt Du musst tun was zu tun ist, Finde deinen Weg! Geh durch und sei mutig, Junge es geht Halt das Licht vor Auge Ich bin immer fur dich da Und erleichtere deinen Pfad auf dem Weg nach Drau? en Du kennst mich nicht, doch ich kenn dein Problem Ich bin Hoffnung mein Freund, bitte halt mich am Leben Lyrics By Hiwar12345 [Adel Tawil (Azad):] Ich hol dich da raus Ich glaub an Dich sowie Du an mich glaubst Ich hol dich da raus Du kannst immer auf mich za"hlen (Du wirst sehen, Du kannst za"hlen auf mich) Halte noch aus Ich wei? die Zeit hier scheint still zu stehen Doch schon bald werden wir in Richtung Freiheit gehen (Eins fur immer) Lyrics By Hiwar12345 Einen unsichtbares Band Halt uns fur immer fest zusammen Keine Schwerter, keine Flammen Konnen uns jemals entzweien Wir sind Bruder und werden fur immer Bruder sein Ich hol dich raus, Ich hol dich da raus, Halte noch aus [Du wirst sehen, Du kannst zahlen auf mich] Ich hol dich raus, Ich hol dich da raus, Halte noch aus [Du wirst sehen, Du kannst zahlen auf mich] Lyrics By Hiwar12345 Ich hol dich da raus Ich glaub an Dich sowie Du an mich glaubst (Du wirst sehen) Ich hol dich da raus Du kannst immer auf mich zahlen (Du wirst sehen, Du kannst zahlen auf mich) Halte noch aus Ich weis die Zeit hier scheint still zu stehen (Halt dein Kopf hoch, Bruder) Doch schon bald werden wir in Richtung Freiheit gehen Lyrics By Hiwar12345

Added by: blogpost_biz

Time: 01:00
Views: 751 | Comments: 0