Achmed, the dead terrorist (Jeff Dunham)
Achmed, the dead terrorist... (Jeff Dunham, ventriloquist & stand-up comedian, "Spark of Insanity", 2007) Good evening, Achmed!~Good evening... Infidel!~So you 're a terrorist?~Yes, I am a terrorist...~What kind of terrorist?~A terrifying... terrorist!~Are you scared?~Not really, no.~Aaargh! And now?~Not really, no.~HuHaaah! How 'bout now?~No.~God damn it! Oh.. I mean "Allah" damn it! Silence! I kill you!~So Akhmed...~No, no, it's Achmed~That's what I said!~No you said Akmed, it's Achmed! "gh", "gh", "gh"... Silence! I kill you!~How do you spell it?~What?~How do you spell your name?~Oh, let's see... A... C... Phlemgh... Silence! I kill you!~So Achmed, if you're a terrorist, I would suppose you have some sort of specialty?~Yes, I am a suicide bomber.~So you' re finished?~What?~You 've done your job.~No, I haven't!~But you 're dead!~No, I'm not! I feel fine!~But you 're all bone!~It's a flesh wound!~Silence! I kill you! What the hell happened to my feet? Son of a bitch! What the hell? What are you doing? Stop touching me! I kill you!~Allright, just hold on, we'll fix this!~Ok, wait! What are you doing? Holy crap I'm in the air! Wait, something is backwards... holy crap! I need some ligaments!~Just sit still!~Ok, I will not move my ass!~You idiot, you don't have an ass!~Is that Walter?~Yeah...~He scares the crap out of me! Please, do not put me back in the same suitcase!~Why?~He has gas!~Saddam's mustard gas was nothing compared to a Walter fart!~It's not funny! He will kill us!~Allright, listen Achmed, I have something to tell you...~What?~You really are dead!~Are you sure?~Yes.~I've just got my flu shot.~You really are dead!~Wait, if I'm dead, that means I get my 72 virgins?~Are you my virgins?! I hope not!~Why?~There's a bunch of ugly ass guys out there!~If this is paradise, I've been screwed!~Well did they say it will be only female virgins?~Holy crap! Wait, I could have Clay Aiken! I told a joke!~So, listen Achmed, where do you come from?~Your freakin' suitcase!~I told another one!~Look, if you've been in my suitcase all this time, how have we been getting through security at the airports?~Oh, that's easy... They open the case and I go "Hellooo! I am Lindsay Lohan!"~I told another joke! I can do this crap too! Ok, here's another one: Two Jews walkin' in a bar...~No, no!~What, you don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard!~What I mean is I don't want racist jokes in my act.~Oh, ok, how 'bout if I kill the Jews?~No!~I'm kidding, I would not kill the Jews, no, I would toss a penny betwenn them and watch them fight to the death! Yes, I did the same thing with two catholic priests but I tossed in a small boy! Yes, and the winner had to fight Michael Jackson!~Achmed!~What?~Stop doing this! You can't tell jokes like that!~Why not? I'm killing so to speak...~You can't tell jokes like that!~Why?~It offends people.~Oh, I'm dead what do I care? What do you want me to do "knock-knock" jokes?~Probably better...~Ok, knock-knock.~Who's there?~Me, I kill you!~So, look as a suicide bomber have you had training?~Of course, we had this suicide bomber training camp.~Ah, is that a nice facility?~It used to be...~What happened?~New guy! The idiot tried to practise!~What did you guys learn from that?~Location, location, location~So, you guys have any kind of motto?~Like what?~You know, like "we're looking for a few good men"~"We're looking for some idiots with no future"!~So, where do you get your recruits?~The suicide hotline! That was dark, was it not?~Yeah, so what exactly happened to you?~Eh?~What happened?~Oh, if you must know, I am a horrible suicide bomber...~What happened?~I had a premature detonation...~I set the timer for 30 minutes, but it went off in 4 seconds! You know what that's like, right?! Mr hurricane!~So, Achmed what exactly happened to you?~Well, I was getting gasoline and I answered my cell phone... "Can you hear me now?" Kghghgh! At first I thought it was because I went over my minutes!~That's too bad!~It's ok, I took that Verizon bastard with me!~So, what's it like to die? Do you see a white light?~If you done enough to watch the explosion, yes!~No, I mean some people say when they die they see a white light, what did you see?~I saw flying car parts!~What was the last thing that went through your mind?~My ass! Walter told me to tell that joke!~You did all these for a bunch of virgins?~Are you kidding me? I'd kill you for a Klondike bar!~So, I guess you're Muslim?~I don't think so!~You're not Muslim?~Nooo!~Why?~Look on my ass, it says "Made in China"! Walter says I'm just a stinking Halloween decoration!~So do you like being in D.C.?~I think some idiots must live here.~Why?~For example, the Washington Monument...~Yes?~It looks nothing like the guy! It looks more like a tribute to Bill Clinton!~What do you think of Bush?~Oh, I love Bu... Oh, you mean the president? I'm sorry!~And that's Achmed, the dead terrorist!
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Nick pays homage to one of his all-time favorite YouTube videos, Little Superstar. Original Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gx-NLPH8JeM
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Christian The Lion - The Full Story - Lion Sleeps Tonight
A baby lion cub, Christian, was raised by two guys, John Rendall and Anthony Bourke (Ace Berg), who loved him like a family member. Just goes to show you that being kind, thoughtful, and loving towards animals -- even wild animals -- can have an unbelievably happy ending and a rich payback. Although Christian was returned to the wild -- as he should have -- he apparently never forgot Anthony and John. Stories like this make should make people who abuse animals stop and think. John Rendall lives in the UK and is a trustee of the George Adamson Wildlife Preservation Trust. Anyone who would like to donate can go to www.georgeadamson.org. Another good organization to support is The Born Free Foundation, at www.BornFree.org.uk. This video goes great with The Lion Sleeps Tonight song, particularly this rendition done by Morgan Arons.
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GTA 4 - Bloopers, Glitches & Silly Stuff 6 HD (Machinima)
GTA IV : Machinima.com director BenBuja presents the sixth installment of the Bloopers series. If you see this video choppy/laggy in HD click the annotation link in the beginning of the video or put the playback slider to the very beginning of the video before watching. BenBujas Youtube page: http://www.youtube.com/user/BenBuja FOR MORE MACHINIMA GOTO: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinima
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Bon Jovi - Work For The Working Man ( Live Today Show 11/25/2009 )
Bon Jovi performs "Work For The Working Man" live on the Today Show November 25 2009 Album - The Circle: 1. "We Weren't Born to Follow" 2. "When We Were Beautiful" 3. "Work for the Working Man" 4. "Superman Tonight" 5. "Bullet" 6. "Thorn in My Side" 7. "Live Before You Die" 8. "Brokenpromiseland" 9. "Love's the Only Rule" 10. "Fast Cars" 11. "Happy Now" 12. "Learn to Love"
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Bon Jovi ~ Hallelujah [Part 6][Unplugged 2007][HD]
~ Bon Jovi - Unplugged 2007 ~ â–º Other Parts: â— [Part 1] Bon Jovi ~ Livin' On A Prayer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx9WsVL24pc â— [Part 2] Bon Jovi ~ Who's Says You Can't Go Home http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiGI24PLOfo â— [Part 3] Bon Jovi ~ Lost Highway http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKqwIHqDFhM â— [Part 4] Bon Jovi ~ You Give Love A Bad Name http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUVBvkTFrZ4 â— [Part 5] Bon Jovi feat The All-American Rejects ~ It's my life http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQpZpKpJoKM â— [Part 7] Bon Jovi feat Leann Rimes ~ Till We Ain't Strangers Anymore http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gsd6zWw581I â— [Part 8] Bon Jovi ~ (You Want To) Make A Memory http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6r0DfEj3sKk â— [Part 9] Bon Jovi ~ Bed Of Roses http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHHypUkYclA â— [Part 10] Bon Jovi ~ Whole Lot Of Leaving http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKfsO_2H2mU â— [Part 11] Bon Jovi ~ Any Other Day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDQc94CZJmw â— [Part 12] Bon Jovi ~The Last Night http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-r_vGc6Ea4 Enjoy:) [Sorry about the little bump at 3:11] ~Disclaimer: I do not own this music video. No copyright infringement intended. For non-profit use only. ~
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Music Video For 'Stand By Me'. Directed by David Mould BUY THE SONG: iTunes: http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=78839598&s=143444 7 Digital: www.7digital.com/artists/oasis/be-here-now/
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